An Academic Outing
It were back in the days of the Ancients,
Round about three six seven BC—
The folk didn’t like counting backwards
But were still waiting t’birth of J C.
They were planning the annual school outing
At Plato’s new academia;
The students were jostling and shouting
‘Til Plato called out, ‘Listen here!
‘We’ll need a good place for the outing,
Some food, drink and surely some sex;
So put on your thinking caps now, lads
And help me plan what we do next.’
The choice of the place caused confusion,
They argued it out for a day
‘Til Plato remembered his teacher
And asked, ‘What would Socrates say?’
One bright spark said he had remembered
That Socrates favoured the grass,
But it had been quite wet around Athens
So they let that suggestion just pass.
‘I fancy a cave,’ said old Plato;
The students all let out a sigh,
‘We want somewhere real,’ they grumbled;
So Plato’s idea didn’t fly.
At last they agreed on a venue
That suited them all to a tee;
It was old Epicurus’ garden—
A bit overgrown, but no fee.
‘And now for the food!’ someone shouted,
‘We’ll all bring some wine and some bread,
With olives and dates and some ouzo
There’ll be plenty to get us all fed.
‘For sex I have had an idea,
And we’re Greek so it’s not queer or strange,
We have all had our fill ‘o Sophia
So we’ll try Rhet or Rick for a change.’
Well, the outing went off as expected,
And everyone said it were grand,
So old Plato’s academia
Was voted the best in the land.